#041 | The Funeral Director Who Heard More (with Richard Schoeller

Welcome to a very special recap of Life With Ghosts—Let's Chat! #041, featuring an extraordinary guest: Richard Schoeller. In this conversation, host Stepen Berkeley brings us into the fascinating world of mediumship, the spirit realm, and the unique experiences of someone who’s been a funeral director, minister, and certified medium. If you've ever wondered what it's like to connect with those who have passed—and do so with genuine professionalism and heartfelt respect—you’re in the right place.

Meet Richard Schoeller: Wearing Three Collars

Before we dive into stories and insights, let’s get to know tonight’s guest.

Richard Schoeller is no ordinary medium. He’s:

• A former funeral director

• An ordained minister

• A nationally recognized certified medium

• Commissioned spiritualist healer

• National Spiritualist Teacher (NSAC)

• Vice President of the International Spiritualist Federation

• Teacher at the Inner Spiritual Center (New Jersey)

• Proud Lily Dale Assembly member

Richard isn’t just about connecting with spirits—he’s grounded in the science, philosophy, and religion of spiritualism. His journey weaves through moments in funeral homes, spiritual teachings, and personal revelations.

Stepping Into The Spirit World: Richard's Origins

Richard didn’t grow up knowing he was a medium. His early life was ordinary—except for some playful (and serious) parenting advice about picking a career. His father, a Marine drill instructor, used to joke, "If you don’t know what you want to do, I’ll put you in the Marines!"

At age 17, Richard attended his grandfather’s wake. In a moment of offhand humor, his father suggested, “Why don’t you become an undertaker? No one will ever talk back to you.”

He didn’t realize the prophecy in his words.

That sparked Richard’s curiosity: What happens to our souls when we die? Priesthood was briefly considered, but Richard’s mother disliked the idea. So, at age 17, funeral service became his calling.

Life as a Funeral Director

Contrary to what some might imagine, Richard didn’t start out chatting with people “on the slab.” Instead, his journey in funeral service opened new questions and paved the way for a major spiritual awakening—one that arrived much later.

At age 33, Richard’s abilities revealed themselves in dramatic fashion. One quiet night, all four grandparents—passed on—showed up in Richard’s apartment. Logic kicked in: “You’re dead. I can see you. I must be dying.” Their reply? “No, no—you can just see us now.”

Funeral Experiences: Messages from Beyond

A few days after Richard’s first spiritual encounter, he was working at a funeral. The deceased woman, whose funeral he was directing, began communicating. She stood at the foot of her own casket, passing on information for her husband.

Richard’s initial reaction was practical: “Get out of here, I have to focus on my job!” But at the end of the funeral, the message came through. He shared a statement with the husband—one that made him break down in tears.

“Trust me, she’s in a better place now.”

Throughout the funeral, Richard was in conversation with the woman in spirit, balancing his duties and the otherworldly communication.

Learning to Turn it Off

These experiences also taught Richard something critical: How to turn the ability off. With the constant possibility of spirit contact, there had to be boundaries.

"I didn't want to walk around in the world with everybody’s aunts, uncles, cousins, relatives communicating with me. I’m living a physical life. I want to be present to my physicality, my expression. So I learned how to, quote unquote, shut it down."

This lesson in boundary-setting would shape Richard’s entire approach to mediumship.

Stories of Spirit Intervention: Trust and Boundaries

Richard shared two pivotal stories about spirit communication, demonstrating both the gifts and challenges of the work.

The Actress On The Upper West Side

In 1997, on Manhattan’s Upper West Side, Richard was approached by the spirit of a well-known actress, who had passed away tragically. She instructed Richard to turn down a street; her husband would walk out of a building.

The spirit’s request: “I want him to know that I'm okay.”

Richard resisted: “I can't do that.” While he could have approached the husband, he didn’t feel it was right—out of concern for privacy, emotional state, and professional boundaries.

Instead, Richard told the actress, “If you want me to give your husband your message, have people who know me professionally refer him to me. Then I’ll tell him whatever you wish once he sets up an appointment.”

This episode wasn’t just about conveying a message—it was about respecting everyone’s boundaries: the spirit’s, the living’s, and his own.

Learning to Trust Spirit

Richard reflected on what these encounters meant for the development of his abilities. For instance, when he relayed a message from the woman at her funeral, and her husband wept, he realized it was the spirit world teaching him to trust.

“The spiritual realm was getting me to trust them.”

A standout moment was when the woman described what had caused her the most pain; Richard relayed, “I do not feel pain in this area.” Her husband responded, “I hope not—that’s what caused her the most pain." This message offered hope and comfort, helping ease anguish and paving the way for Richard’s trust in the messages he was receiving.

Service to Spirit vs. Service to the Living

Mediums often face a difficult question: Are they more in service to the spirit communicator or the living sitter/client?

Richard’s take?

• During a session, information meant to be shared by the spirit should come through—without question.

• But he doesn’t agree with the idea that he is in service only to spirit; he’s living a physical life and deserves respect, too.

For example, what if you approach someone (like the actress’s husband) out of the blue? That person might not be emotionally prepared or open; it could cause anger or stress. Mediums must balance service to spirit with real-world considerations like professionalism and respect.

“There’s a time and a place to say, yes, I’m working with and for the spiritual realm. At the same time, there’s a time and place for me to say, no, this is my life.”

Richard believes in maintaining boundaries, respecting both the needs of spirit and the living. These decisions must always be made with discretion and compassion.

Inside the Funeral Home: Boundaries and Professionalism

Stepen was curious: Did Richard receive communications often while working around bodies in the funeral home? The short answer: Only occasionally, and always with discretion.

Richard’s commitment to professional boundaries meant that, even if he received information from a “decedent,” he didn’t share it with their family unless it was appropriate.

“If I had walked up to a family member and started to go into a reading with them at the time where they’re sitting with their deceased loved one, it’s overstepping a boundary. They’re not there for a mediumship reading.”

Only three times did Richard receive direct communication as a funeral director, but he kept such moments private out of respect for families and his own role as a funeral professional.

Messages from Loved Ones

Richard shared a deeply moving account involving his own parents.

When his father died, Richard said out loud, “I don’t want to see Dad. I need time to grieve.” Three days later, while driving, he felt energy build in the car. At a red light, his father appeared beside him and said, “Hey, it’s not about you.” Richard’s grandmother chimed in from the back seat: “We’ve got them.” Then they disappeared.

This unexpected visit helped Richard cope, write his father’s eulogy, and find the strength to show up for his family.

When his mother passed, she requested special songs for her funeral. During the ceremony, as family placed flowers on her casket, Richard saw both his parents standing at the foot of the casket. His mother, wearing her favorite dress, simply said, “It was perfect.”

Later, a close friend (also a medium) confirmed seeing the same image and hearing the same words—assuring Richard that he hadn’t made it up.

“Hopefully when people listen, they'll walk away with a sense of hope, knowing that they're not alone at the more difficult times in their lives.”

Boundaries: Keeping Professionalism and Ethics in Mediumship

Did Richard ever feel the urge to walk over to a mourner and share comforting words from the deceased? Surprisingly, no. There was no internal conflict because professional standards are crucial.

“If my manager or the owner of the funeral home found out I was sharing unsolicited information, I could have lost my job.”

Respectful boundaries are not just important—they’re essential for trust and professionalism, both with the living and the spirit realm.

And as Richard notes, spirit can arrange for interested parties to find a medium later, when the time is right. Synchronicity often brings seekers and mediums together in the most unlikely ways—like the woman who found Richard’s business card in her drawer, years after receiving it.

Coming Out: Mediumship and Authenticity

Stepen asked an important question: Was it harder to come out as a medium or as a gay man?

Richard's journey with both was honest and sometimes humorous. He came out to his parents at 16 about his sexuality, but waited until 35 (two years after his awakening) to reveal his mediumship.

When Richard sat his parents down and announced his abilities, his mother replied, “I don’t believe it. When you’re dead, you’re dead.” His father, ever the Marine, joked, “Promise me you won’t wear a shawl or carry a crystal ball.”

To prove it, Richard described family members—and shared secrets that only close relatives could know. Both parents, skeptical at first, came to accept his gift after undeniable evidence.

Richard recalled seeing spirits as a child, telling his father nightly about people “walking through the walls.” His dad chalked it up to dreams, but as Richard says, “The spiritual realm understood the boundary and waited until I had enough ego strength to deal with it.”

Mediumship and Ego: Learning to Let Go

One major theme: How important is it to detach from the ego to do mediumship work?

Richard's answer:

• Everyone has an ego—wanting to succeed and do good work is normal.

• But during spirit communication, you have to let go of ego to be fully present and open.

“The more you let go,” says Richard, “the easier it becomes.” Over 28 years, this has become second nature, much like how athletes or musicians hone their craft until things flow easily.

Being in “the flow” is about moving your awareness into the spiritual realm, staying physically present, but letting your mind take a back seat. Mediumship isn’t just a gift—it’s a practice.

The Medium’s Mind: What’s Mine, What’s Theirs?

Richard went a step further: after opening up his abilities, he went back into therapy to keep grounded and clear about his own stuff. Therapy became valuable in understanding the difference between his personality and spirit communications.

A story he shared: One church medium accurately described his grandfather but projected humor that wasn’t a match. This was a moment of learning—mediums, like anyone, can mix in their own feelings. Hence, ongoing self-work is key.

Tips for Students: Building Your Mediumship Muscles

A large part of the audience are students and developing mediums. Stepen, himself a recipient of a powerful reading, asked Richard how others can foster that high-level two-way spirit communication.

Richard answered plainly:

• Your nervous system is the receiver for spirit communication.

• Spirit communicates at a higher vibration, syncing with your system for you to see, hear, or feel them.

Advice for Mediumship Students

1. Recognize your strongest facet—are you more clairvoyant (seeing), clairaudient (hearing), or clairsentient (feeling)?

   • “When I opened my ability, I saw my grandparents. Over time, my clairvoyance faded; now I feel and hear more.”

2. Work with spirit intentionally.

   • Ask the spirit world to highlight your strongest skill. Over time, the more you acknowledge (“I’m feeling X, seeing Y, hearing Z”), the stronger your channel gets.

3. Language matters.

   • Use clear statements to build confidence and neural pathways. If you always say, “I have your paternal grandmother here,” your nervous system adapts and your confidence grows.

4. Practice direct communication.

   • With each client, focus on clear messages. As you get stronger, you’ll find a “flow,” where your mind isn't interfering.

5. Ask for help from spirit to localize information.

   • Early on, Richard asked for clairaudience to “come in” specifically at the back of his head, so he’d know those messages weren’t his own thoughts. Over time, this distinction became routine.

“Ask those who work with you in the spiritual realm to help localize and/or focus information. And when you get it, give the information you get. Don’t try to think it through or make it make sense—thought gets in the way of communication.”

Challenges and Hopes: Still Learning

Richard openly admits: after 28 years, he’s still a student. He’s great at relationships and evidence, but names and locations remain tricky. Even after an amazing public demonstration (identifying cemetery details and headstone color!), he was frustrated not to get the name.

Mediumship is a lifelong learning process. Even Richard, with countless readings, hopes to grow and improve.

“If you keep putting out to the spiritual realm what you want in your mediumship, they are going to work with you.”

Practical Boundaries, Respect, and Advice

Richard returns again and again to the importance of boundaries:

• Professional boundaries, vital in funeral work

• Spiritual boundaries, out of respect for the living and deceased

• Personal boundaries, to balance physical life and spiritual experience

And when in doubt: ask spirit to arrange for clients to find you at the right time, rather than imposing a message if the living person isn’t ready.

Contacting Richard Schoeller

If this conversation leaves you wanting more, here’s how to get in touch or learn from Richard:

• Website: sacredmessages.com

Richard also works with an assistant for scheduling.

Final Thoughts

In the world of mediumship, Richard Schoeller’s experiences remind us of:

• The importance of balancing spiritual service with real-world respect

• Professionalism, boundaries, and ethics—especially in sensitive spaces like funerals

• The ongoing journey of self-knowledge, humility, and personal growth

• Practical, actionable advice for students looking to develop their own abilities

Remember: whether you’re a curious student, practicing medium, or someone seeking comfort and connection, the spirit realm is always closer than you think—ready to respond if you ask, listen, and keep a respectful heart.

Standout Quote:“Don’t try to think it through or make it make sense, because when you engage the thought process, you’re then going to start getting in the way of the communication.”

Did you attend the episode or have questions?

Richard’s interview closed with an audience Q&A—showing just how invested and inquisitive the community is! If you want to learn more, take a workshop, or schedule a session, check out his contact details above.

Stay tuned for more episodes of Life With Ghosts—Let’s Chat! and keep exploring the bridge between worlds.