#044 | Shared Crossings with William Peters

Welcome to an in-depth exploration of the fascinating phenomenon known as the shared death experience (SDE). On a recent episode of "Life With Ghosts - LET'S CHAT!" host Stephen Berkley sat down with psychotherapist William Peters, the founder of the Shared Crossing Project, whose groundbreaking work is helping reshape how we see death, dying, and the mysterious moments around life's final transition.

If you've ever wondered what happens at the threshold between life and death—or about the rare but profound reports of joining a loved one in their transition—this is the post for you. We'll journey through William's personal stories, his research, and the impact these experiences have on the living, all in everyday language and with plenty of visuals and quotes to bring the topic alive.

What Is a Shared Death Experience?

A shared death experience occurs when someone who is healthy—maybe a caregiver, a loved one, or even a bystander—is present as another person dies and feels as though they witness, and sometimes even accompany, the dying person on their journey from life to the initial stages of the afterlife.

Here's how William Peters describes it:

“The shared death experience occurs when somebody is dying. A caregiver, loved one, and sometimes just a bystander expresses that at the moment of death, they feel like they either witnessed the dying person's transition from this human existence into the initial stages of the afterlife. And in some cases, they accompany. They literally accompany the person transitioning.”

While only a small percentage (about 6%) report accompanying the dying, those cases are especially powerful. Some even feel called to guide their loved one through the transition.

Meet William Peters: From Near-Death to Shared Crossing

Let's get to know William Peters, the man behind years of research into SDEs.

William’s Backstory: Two Brush-By-Death Moments

William’s fascination with death didn’t come out of nowhere. He shared two early, intense experiences:

• At Age 17: Skiing at Lake Tahoe, William suffered a severe accident. Everything went dark. Suddenly, he found himself floating away from his body, watching his life replay and seeing the earth from space. He remembers a loving light, a sense of peace, and the message: “Make something of your life.”

• At Age 30: A rare blood disorder landed William in the ICU. For hours, he hovered above his own body, listening to nurses and janitors down below as if he was floating in another realm.

How These Moments Shaped His Mission

These near-death brushes cracked open his curiosity, eventually leading him to hospice work and research into SDEs. Along the way, he also witnessed pre-death visions with his grandmother—another window into the mystery of death.

Defining the Shared Death Experience

Let’s dig into what makes an SDE so unique:

• It often happens right at the moment of death—or just before or after.

• Participants feel deeply connected to the dying person’s journey.

• There’s often a sense of upward movement, headed toward a light—a “journey motif.”

• The experience is almost always positive, affirming the idea of a benevolent afterlife.

How Is an SDE Different from Other Phenomena?

Here are some ways SDEs stand out:

• They’re not like after-death communications or pre-death dreams—those usually don’t include the sense of going somewhere together.

• The “journey motif” sets SDEs apart: Participants describe movement or transition, often an ascent into light or through wondrous landscapes.

SDEs and Near-Death Experiences: Two Sides of the Same Coin?

Remember Raymond Moody, author of Life After Life? He set the stage for understanding near-death experiences (NDEs). But William and Raymond found something curious: People reported experiencing the same things described in NDEs—only their loved one was dying. They hadn’t had a brush with death themselves, but their experience matched the classic “going into the light,” “life review,” and even meeting departed relatives.

Key Similarities:

• Movement upward or into light

• Sensation of leaving the physical body

• Encounters with deceased relatives or loving beings

• Life review moments

So, whether you have an NDE or an SDE, the landscape appears strikingly similar.

Who Has Shared Death Experiences? Is Prior Experience Required?

A natural question is: Do you need to have had a near-death experience yourself before you can have an SDE?

William sets the record straight:

• No, it’s not required. Most SDE participants have not had previous “veil crossing” moments.

• However, those who have had one kind of extraordinary experience (NDE or SDE) are more likely to have another, pointing toward some kind of “openness.”

  • About 41% of SDE experiencers have two or more such experiences.

What Makes People More Open to SDEs?

• Openness to what life brings

• Ability to track your own experience mindfully

• Comfort with the idea of death

• Willingness not to block unusual perceptions

As Raymond Moody put it:

“It’s really an openness to what life is bringing you.”

What Happens During a Shared Death Experience?

Let’s strip away the mystery as much as possible.

The Moment of Transition

• Soul, spirit, or consciousness leaves the physical body—many report a distinct feeling of “crossing the veil.”

• A “frequency change” occurs—sounds, sensations, and physical environments shift dramatically.

• The room fades—walls, ceilings disappear; the scene becomes galactic, full of landscapes or solar systems.

Common Features

• Direct encounter with the departing loved one (in 51% of cases)

• Life reviews—witnessing the highlights and lessons of the dying person’s life

• Appearances by other beings or relatives

• Transition into light, surrounded by love

“It’s a coming home…From that state of being, it’s like the human experience is hard. It’s a difficult realm. When you’re in this afterlife dimension, it’s peaceful. There’s a belonging, it’s imbued with love, and everything is beyond. Okay.”

Negative or Distressing SDEs

Luckily, these are rare. Sometimes fear or a lack of understanding colors the experience as distressing. But most reframe their stories positively once they learn about SDEs.

How SDEs Transform the Living

One of the most surprising findings: SDEs often change how the living feel about death and how they choose to live.

Major Aftereffects

• Loss of fear of death—most are at peace with what comes next

• Renewed curiosity and openness toward death

• Changed relationships with grief—knowing loved ones are “alive and well” somewhere else reframes mourning

“You will grieve that they’re not in this human realm. You know they’re alive somewhere else and you know you’ll be reunited with them again. And that changes your grief process entirely.”

Life Changes

About 40% of experiencers make big life changes—job, relationships, priorities—after an SDE. The scale of change can be dramatic, echoing findings from the literature on near-death experiences.

• Some change careers or friend groups

• Many seek more meaningful work

• Sometimes marriages or primary relationships are re-evaluated (90% of NDErs end up separating within 5-7 years)

SDEs, like NDEs, are wake-up calls about living in line with deeper purpose.

Can We Do Anything to Encourage a Shared Crossing?

William has spent years developing a protocol to increase the chances of an SDE for dying people and their loved ones. Here’s his three-step method:

Step 1: Normalize These Experiences

Don’t dismiss visions, dreams, or strange sensations around death. Educate yourself and others about decades of research validating these phenomena.

• Check out landmark studies (Society for Psychical Research, hospice literature)

• Accept different end-of-life experiences: terminal lucidity, apparitions, synchronicities, after-death communication, and most of all, SDEs

“Realize these experiences happen, they’re good, they’re healthy. And they seem to suggest that you have a life after this, this human death and loved ones on the other side that are there wanting to be in relationship with you…”

Step 2: Life Review and Healing

Before death, do an inventory:

• Face and forgive regrets

• Bring compassion to yourself and others

• Heal old emotional wounds to avoid clutter at the moment of death

“The goal is to clean clear those lines of communication that can get clogged at the moment of death, when our unfinished business can creep in and cause tension.”

Step 3: Choreograph and Visualize the Crossing

Using hundreds of detailed SDE narratives, William’s team guides participants through “travel maps” of what to expect:

• Visualization exercises prepare the mind to recognize psychic landmarks and lean into the experience

• When the phenomena begins, keep going and trust the process

Facing Skepticism

Not everyone is quick to accept something as strange and personal as an SDE. William makes the distinction between skeptics (who ask questions) and debunkers (who dismiss without engaging):

“Skeptics are fine. Everybody should be skeptical of this type of experience...The problem we have is ideologues, scientific materialists who feel threatened by anything outside of their training.”

He especially values MDs and nurses who have these experiences themselves—they are often transformed and become powerful advocates.

What’s Still a Mystery?

Despite hundreds of cases studied (and many published in major journals), much remains unknown. William’s hope is not just more research, but more public sharing, to help people realize their own experiences aren’t isolated or strange.

• A feature-length film is in the works to bring these stories to a wider audience

• Medical publication is important, but the bigger goal: Show people that SDEs are a human birthright

If leading public figures like Oprah Winfrey spoke about their own SDEs, William believes the culture could shift overnight.

Nurses, Doctors, and End-of-Life Care

One finding stands out: Nurses are far more aware of SDEs than most doctors.

Why? Nurses spend more time at the bedside, hearing about or even witnessing these experiences firsthand. While doctors rush in and out and focus on charts, nurses are quietly collecting stories that push the boundaries of our understanding.

Who Has Shared Death Experiences?

William’s research reveals fascinating trends in who experiences SDEs.

• Strong bond between dying person and SDE participant is typical

• Sometimes the SDE serves to heal a wounded relationship (“magical healing”)

• About 30% of SDEs happen between daughters and parents, with slightly more occurring with daughters and fathers

And in up to 10% of cases, multiple people share the experience, though each sees and feels unique things.

Sometimes the person dying seems to initiate the connection, reaching out across the veil to the person who most needs reconciliation.

Can You Train for an SDE?

Many death doulas and hospice workers have experienced SDEs, and some become so attuned that they cross over with multiple clients or loved ones—these are the “adepts.”

William’s team offers training for those who want to maximize the potential:

• Psychoeducation about SDEs

• Teaching visualization and attunement methods

• Support for families approaching end-of-life transitions

If you’re interested, check out the Shared Crossing Project for info on courses, including live events.

The Role of Spiritual Capacity & Agency

An intriguing part of SDEs is the “conductor”—a presence or force that seems to manage the energetic process. Sometimes the dying person works with this conductor to initiate communication with someone on earth.

So agency matters: The dying person often chooses who gets the experience, and it seems to be a parting gift rather than something done for their own benefit.

“There is a force in the SDE that I have identified as the conductor. And the conductor is this force that is kind of managing the transition…”

Getting Involved: More Stories, More Connections

If you’ve had an SDE, William Peters wants to hear from you! Sharing your story supports the research and helps others realize how common and natural these moments are.

You can visit the Shared Crossing Archive to:

• Watch video stories from other SDE experiencers

• Read case studies and reviews

• Understand the four main types of SDEs (outlined in William’s book)

Quick FAQ Section

Can I have an SDE without prior experiences?

Yes! Most people don’t have prior NDEs or SDEs.

Can multiple people share an SDE?

About 10% of cases involve more than one person, but each experience is unique.

Do I need to ask permission or talk to my dying loved one?

Having an open conversation can help, especially if the dying person is spiritually open or curious.

Does the dying person get anything from the experience?

Typically, it’s a gift to the living, helping with healing, closure, and transformation.

How To Learn More & Get Involved

William’s Book: At Heaven's Door

Published by Simon & Schuster (2022), William’s book offers 28 in-depth stories and breaks down the four main types of SDEs. You can find it at your local bookseller or on Amazon—and, if possible, support small bookstores by ordering through them!

Courses & Community

The Shared Crossing Project runs courses—like the immersive Pathway Program—teaching how to recognize and prepare for SDEs. If you’re approaching end-of-life, or supporting someone, their training and community might help you navigate these profound moments.

Contact & Archive

Reach out to the Shared Crossing Team to share your experience, ask questions, or join upcoming studies and film projects.

Takeaway: Claim Your Birthright

Here’s what William most wants everyone to remember:

“This is your human birthright. Claim it. We have the data to support it.”

SDEs are not just rare, mystical events—they’re more common than we think and have the power to radically transform our fear of death and our experience of life.

So whether you’re approaching a loved one’s transition, working in hospice, or simply curious, consider exploring this incredible facet of human experience. Share your story, listen to others, and keep the conversation alive.

Final Thoughts

Death remains one of life’s great mysteries—but with stories like those William Peters gathers, we can look forward to a time when shared death experiences are openly discussed, studied, and understood as part of our collective journey.

If you’ve felt the presence of a loved one at their passing, if you’ve witnessed something strange and beautiful, or if you’d simply like to deepen your awareness around death, you’re invited to become part of the conversation—a conversation that’s about healing, belonging, and love.

“This is a four-minute mile. Once you know it exists, it opens up incredible new potentials for living and dying well.”